physician21

about medical tacts and talents

Archive for the tag “success”

Making relationship in 8 steps

Are you married or in a relationship? In either case I would like to review with you the steps in making that accomplishment.

1) The encounter, 2) the initial impression, 3) the interest, 4) the decision, 5) the clang, 6) the definite impression, 7) the start and 8) the progression

1 At the encounter step you see the person for the first time and this commonly happens by chance or pre-noted by somebody.

2 Automatically you have a first impression about that person like: no impression at all, weak good impression, good positive impression, very good or negative.

3 Then interest may come or not. The interest step means that you saw or learned something that makes you sympathizing with that person. This interest is quite personal and concerns the values and views of you like abstract meanings (courage, passion, generosity, delicacy, fear, weakness, etc.). You feel that you may help this person in some way or that person may fill a gap or fulfill a mercy in you.

4 The decision means the question whether to dare it or not; would I tell that person that I would like to know more personally of him/ her? This is indeed a very difficult and delicate step. On making this decision many things interact like time, conditions, place, duties and personal resolution. However, this step should not be that overwhelming, though very sensitive, because it is only halfway of the route; there are still 4 steps ahead. To know if you got the interest of that person try to know the reason and define and analyze that point of interest. A true interest is the one that makes up a genuine component of you so that you like that person with all his/ her problems and drops (deficiencies).

5 The clang!!!!! How your decision presented and what were its repercussions? Sometimes just on making your decision clear you feel that you were wrong and rushed!! The person may also react in appropriately being embarrassed, surprised, shocked or whatever. The clang means if you could go to the next step. The step of that clang is important because it lasts long and may not be overlooked easily. This is why you should be very clever in choosing the way and time to present your decision. In this step I guess that being a bit slow and reluctant may be better than rushing and answer-ready. However, do not forget there are still 3 important steps, it is not done yet. Notice: A first-trial clang may not be that usual!!

6 The definite impression would happen after more frequent rendezvous (of course in the acceptable and approved circumstances such as family visits, public places, coffee breaks, public parties and gatherings, …). While the person is knowingly dealing in this definite impression step you expect to take everything seriously as there could be only 2 steps ahead for your relationship.

7 The start step means you both agreed to start a serious relationship with all its flowers and thorns. You start to set time, arrangements, documents, invitations, announcements, and so on.

8 The progression concerns the longevity of your relationship; fruitfulness, impact and prospects.

Footnotes:

1 A relationship is a relationship. Should you miss some person you liked in a relationship you once thought, more importantly do not miss that person in a relation they may once thought.

2 Learn of your previous genuine faults and deficiencies to bring once your genuine creations and accomplishments.

3 There is always time (never too late) on your believe and vision. Make it from your side and you will be mutually responded.

Life and medicine, reflections

life and medicine, reflections

The common divisor for life and medicine is that they are both ‘easy’.

The problem exists only when we make things complicated while they should not be so. But, on the contrary, a smooth and self-assembled and harmonized cascade of success should be there when we manage – even after quite long time – to lay such noise and artifact aside. You could be a famous and impactful physician because you show the readiness and willingness (sometimes fondness and passion); notice that many people do not show any of that all.

Do not be taken too far by those thick medical books full of ink and texts. These could be written by more than one person and/ or over long times, could be useful and interesting, or they may not contain an answer for your past, present or future curiosity and questions. You are, in every case, not meant to read every paper you find or to understand each word you may have ever heard – though it would be great if you were to do that –. Because, going from the easiness of medicine, you should (or very politely: must) stick to the basics of medicine (or life). This can be the line of demarcation between a trustful and artful physician and those who either dampen in their hesitancy or float in illusions of details and thoroughness: the true basics and ethics.

You deserved it because you knew it in advance; you got its essence and made it in the centre of your consciousness. What, when, why, how and where? It is (or should be) more easy than anyone can believe. As a physician you don’t fix machines but peoples’ health and life, you do not sell books or household goods but convey knowledge and culture, you do not stamp money or create gold but help everybody better appreciate their life and life as a whole.

A physician is a person who goes in life brilliantly and successfully in the best possible satisfaction through the honest practicing of medicine.

Search and Rescue

candidkay

My mother, when she was dying, said to me, “There are no wrong answers, Kris.”

She was speaking from the vantage point of someone who has nothing left to lose. Someone with the luxury of looking back on a life filled with worry about making the right choices and realizing, in the end, most of those choices become irrelevant.

I was torn between staying at her bedside and going back to Chicago to take care of my kids. I felt I did not have a choice. My kids needed me. I was the glue in our household. But my mother needed me also.

Recently, I was worrying about the right job, the right parenting, the right financial and life decisions. As I’m sure many of you do. Few of us are immune to trying to game the system for the best results.

choices, options, alternativesIn most situations, you can stay put until…

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The management of self

Many of us would wait and postpone the setting out of their unusual abilities in management and creativity until some apparent turning points like getting married, having a good job or inheriting a wealth. The postponing time would thus remain a matter of chance and speculation. Other people may not at all be aware that management of life and achieving success is a clear cut outcome of well established rules and definitions. Given the known statement I once had in a school language book: “you are a state in yourself”, one should learn too how to invest and strive to apprehend and exercise those rules of self-management.

The management of self includes everything one may do and would be surmounted by either well being or recession. It includes everything from the way one speaks and eats to the way how to think and evaluate. It includes, accordingly, time management, setting of values and aims, and decision making. With the view of an eagle’s eyes the management of self is the biggest topic under which we may understand our care to get good education and good company, to excel professionally and socially and have an impact that may last after we have left this world. Such information about the optimal handling of one’s resources, the so called the ‘management’ or the ‘marketing’ of self, is crucial for an appreciable conduct in life, and the next step of its rules and details should be a subject of time and/or trial and error.

I know that I may not be the person who could be very helpful in discussing this basic life item as I need to learn it too. However, I could convey a few advices I have just read in reading book for prep school: 1) be generous to others, 2) take it easy, 3) think good about others, and 4) do not exaggerate in punishing others. From my personal notices; I realize that the very personal view and impression of the individual would determine the way in which he/ she acts. That’s why it is important to determine and define which kind of person one would like to be: a noble, tight-fisted, depraved or trivial. A noble person is a one who willingly treats people generously and good. Tight-fisted is the person who won’t be good unless to face an expected loss or shame. Depraved is the one who intentionally and persistently does bad. Trivial is a person who crudely and undetermined doesn’t do good and he/ she may not do it under any case. Each one of these four person types could have almost typical attributes considering values, ideas, aims, interests and conducts.

Very relevant to the management of self are the motives and drives. These could show and provide many embarrassments especially for those who wish to live as nobles, because they may be a common place for defects and weakness. Embarrassments could happen when they faithfully and nobly consider an issue that may not be considered at all as wisely placed by others. And the weakness could be when they grow a lot of fear that shadows their deeds and hampers their progress. In situations where fear would be an element one has to distinguish between courage (opposite of fear) and prudence (wisdom) from one side and fear and defeat from the other.  In other words, in order to beat your ‘sweeping’ fear does not mean to dispense with your wisdom and its ‘decent’ courage. Because in many situations being wise and prudent can dictate the same act as that of being fearful though the motives in the two cases are absolutely different.

The Lucky Gatherer

What should “games” add to this medical blog? They may attract more people especially those who do not have medical background or interests. Of course, posting an interesting item for the public may not be an easy job, but the question always is how fine and useful that idea or post could be.

Indeed, computer games did give me here some inspiration. Now with some reflection, playing games may have healthy aspects other than spending a pleasant time. Let’s discover this view together.

Introduction

A healthy human should not only keep defending against bad things that would make disease and discomfort but also have the initiative that would help achieving goals like enjoying agreable social life and making his/ her own family. Here, this game “The Lucky Gatherer” would help us understand and appreciate this aspect.

Players

Many players are expected to share in the game, but for necessity reasons a single player may also be practical.

Mode of the game

The mode is quite flexible where face masks, pictures or name cards can be used. Of course, game computerizing is also fine.

Tips

The lucky gatherer will walk around, or even travel or fly to quite distant lands, in very different and contrasting nice and attractive places, e.g. garden, shops, parks, cafes, etc. The rewrads and surprises gathered in each place will depend on the appropriate qualities the lucky gatherer would think of within 3 seconds.

Score

The player has a fortune of zero at the beginning of the game. Gathering 5-45 points means unsatisfactory; 50-85 considerable; and 90-100 big fortune and winning the game.

Qualities (their benefit potential); and example of a corresponding situation

1- A shining smile (+5); on walking up in the morning.

2- A nice body language (+5); on giving a speech at work-place.

3- Simply and elegantly dressed (+5); on going out for shopping.

4- Teeth brushed few days ago but still fine (+5); on going for an appointment.

5- Voice is full of courage and passion (+10); on talking to somebody.

6- Help needy people even when not asked for help (+10); in a public transport vehicle.

7- Being a good listener (+10); somebody introduces him/herself.

8- Give complement in right time and place (+10); during a conversation.

9- Give opinion openly, quietly and politely (+10); a discussion with family members.

10- Share mind  in public, quietly and politely (+10); a discussion in service auto.

11- Being interested in people (+15); in the work place.

12- Have personal demands always in mind (+15); on going out in a picknic.

13- Think of many things together but do one at a time (+15); on going out for a visit.

14- Keep notes for plans and ideas and revise these regularly (+15); in the rest time.

15- Can live alone but like to have companions (+20); in daily life activity.

16- Have a good access to outside world (+20); on dealing with customers.

17- Read effectively (+20); in free time.

18- Know other languages (+20); on watching TV.

19- Have high work/time efficiency (+20); in daily life activity.

20- Able to learn and advance (+20); on deciding for a new job.

21- Learning from past mistakes (+25); on dealing with other people .

22- Benefit from point of views of others (+25); on doing professional tasks.

23- Work on understanding own needs (+25); on choosing a partner.

24- Keen on priorities and work on them timely (+25); in a shopping.

25- Making decision in time and accomodate consequences (+30); on guessing your interest in somebody/ something.

26- See well around and grasp quickly place and time provisions (+40); on attending a social ceremony.

27- Being passionate and practical (+40); on expending money.

28- Making many good friends(+50); along with daily life events .

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